I'm just wondering how other people feel after a few years of divorce. For a story, I had a very bad breakup with my ex. After they moved out, I only saw them at divorce court https://onlinedivorcer.com/county-specific-resources/ohio/divorce-in-geauga-county after not talking to them for months and then not talking to them until right during the covid my mom died and we were briefly reunited. First romantically, then a month later just as friends. After two months of trying to be friends, we broke up and haven't spoken since. I am still in love with him. I've only gone on a few dates since my divorce, but he's still the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to bed. Am I crazy that some part of me is waiting for him? I'm young, I'm in my 30s, and I really wanted to get married once and for all. I've come to terms with being alone now if I can't have the man I love, just wondering if anyone can share with me or give me advice. I'm sure I probably sound crazy, but he was my first love, we met at 17. And I just can't put out the torch I carry. Thank you for reading.